Geraldo Rivera Addresses Lesbian Rumors About Janet Napolitano, Homeland Security Secretary: "Hi, I'm Geraldo Rivera, from the gay police squad. My job is to go and report suspected gay people and force them to admit to me, in the name of big time ratings, that they are in deed, butt patrolling, pantie tapping, pipe touching, pie ala mode licking queens. I was sworn in by my supreme leader, Rupert Murdoch, I love than man but not in a Brokeback Mountain way but in an Expendable 2 kind of manly way. I know it's been years since I've been relevant, Capone's vault anyone, so I do what I need to do because Fox News will rule the world in ten years because my leader will make it so. I'm Geraldo Rivera, what's your sexual orientation?"
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