Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes Split: Celebrities And Fans React On Twitter: "While Tom Cruise was away filming, one of his cult soldier's failed to give Katie Holmes her daily dose of Midazolam and Secobarbital. Slowly Katie came out of this medically induced fog and realized she had been married for five years to a short couch jumping thespian, had a daughter who dressed like an adult, had changed her religion and was surrounded by people who worshiped space aliens. To her horror, a giant poster of John Travolta wearing dreadlocks was glued to her ceiling above her bed with the caption, "Eggs are people too, eat more people". Fearing for her safety, Katie removed the name tag that said "just call me Kate" and fooled the cult soldiers by telling them she could get Mitt Romney to join because he's pliable. Her escape almost didn't happen because her daughter stopped her proclaimed "Tom is Klaatu, Tom is Klaatu, all hail Klaatu". Katie tossed Suri a Hermes bag thus shutting the kid up and Katie spirited her and the kid to safety."
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