JAMES BOND IS DEAD !!!!

No Time To Die takes the Route of Avengers: Endgame in Bond's Final Bow

It’s probably best to describe the new James Bond film, No Time To Die, as a new old film. It was scheduled for release in November 2019, but was postponed to February 2020 and then to April 2020 and finally was scheduled for an October 2021 release date. Finally, it has reached the big screens in a build-up that is coated in controversy due in part to the director, one of Bond’s co-stars, and a marketing campaign that keeps courting things that are turning off Bond’s core fan base.

No Time to Die has a running time of 2 hours and 43 minutes. It is the longest-running film in the history of the franchise. They could have done some editing at the beginning by cutting some of the introduction to the film out. We were given two different kinds of opening, a kid being terrorized by an assassin which, I suppose was used to set up a back story to the character, and the other is set in a contemporary time as the girl is now a woman in a relationship with Bond.

On the surface, things are seemingly okay but the arm of Spectre is looming large. Bond goes to the grave of his deceased paramour. Bond is seeking some sort of closure in the ritual of burning notes so that he can finish out that chapter in his life. But this is Bond. The chapters in his life are dogeared pages and bookmarks that keep flipping back and forth the pages of his existence. Her crypt blows up with him in front of it. He gets up stunned and realizes that he must go to his new lover, Madeleine, played by Lea Seydoux, You now have the trailer cut scenes in a nutshell. We wrap this up in a tidy bow as Bond and company escape the near-death experience but it comes with a price, the matter of trust. Bond says adieu to Seydoux.

Fast forward five years and Bond is a private citizen but just like the Godfather’s Michael Corleone once said, “Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in.”, James Bond is pulled back into the espionage game. He is recruited by his CIA friend, Felix Leiter. There is a biological weapon and a mad scientist/doctor who needs to be gotten. In Bond films, these tropes are standard fare, there is usually a mad scientist/doctor and there is usually a bioweapon of lethal degree. While Bond is gearing up to work with the CIA, he’s being tailed by a new female operative. She blatantly inserts herself into Bonds’ proximity in such an egregious way that is in no way being spy smooth.

She disables his vehicle forcing him to get a ride with her on her Vespa. I should note that in this iteration of James Bond, we do not get a list of Q-toys that have always been a highlight in this franchise. Bond is on a Vespa. I don’t know if that’s intentional emasculation or they couldn’t afford any new Q-toys? At his apartment, she goes to his bedroom and removes her wig, and sits on his bed. She reveals her identity and in a most annoying, aggressive, antagonistic, smug, arrogant manner that immediately defines who this character is and not in a good way. She denigrates Bond. She threatens Bond. I found it unnecessary for her to threaten Bond with shooting him in his working knee. In fact, I found it unnecessary for her character to be written this way. She came looking for a fight with Bond when there was no reason for her to have any animosity for Bond. If she had a dick, she would have pulled it out to prove she’s better than Bond. As the film went on, all I could see from her being aggrieved by Bond seemingly only for the fact that it was because he was Bond. Her prejudice for Bond is heavily worn on her sleeve.

She seemed to think that being 007 was a prestigious moniker but Bond quietly stated to her, “It’s only a number,” By saying that, probably pissed off her fragile ego. This definitely was Bond’s moment of facing wokeness. He took the hits and was still standing. This Bond is battling evil scientists/doctors, super villains, and now wokeness. 

We saw the new female 007 characterization coming 3,000 miles away because we’re in this #MeToo Hollywood mode of film-making. You roll your eyes to the back of your head when you hear the triggering words of diversity and inclusion. They are more like curse words in the film industry that people speak in hush tones. We are getting agenda propaganda films based on a single-person ideology with an ax to grind. This doesn’t translate into cinema dollars and only alienates the core fan base. 

Even the director, Cary Joji Fukunaga, has called out Sean Connery’s James Bond as a rapist. Seriously, you’re going to tear down this original Bond icon by calling him a rapist? You’ve turned yourself into the judge, jury, and executioner. Lashana Lynch even talked about her feeling as if she was experiencing segregation. Please stop if you haven’t gone through the experiences of people who have gone through real segregation and civil rights violations if you weren’t born during the time of real turmoil. A Twitter feud does not equate to social injustice. If you are being paid huge sums of money for playing a pretend spy, stop complaining about your perceived injustice. You haven’t been sprayed with a water hose, attacked by police dogs, or had a family member lose their life to a mob lynching. Get over yourself.

So, back to the film. Blofeld is back in the equation. Under his auspicious direction, he develops the bioweapon although he’s in confinement. The bioweapon is used in a club where Bond is but he is spared while other people in his immediate vicinity start to drop. One of the most enjoyable scenes was watching the Ana de Armas character, Paloma, showcase her skills as a new agent in the field. For one brief shining moment, we get to see Bond back in form with his tuxedo and with a beautiful woman at his side. Paloma does a serviceable job in fighting 225-pound guys by literally throwing her full weight into them. This was more convincing than most films where the 100 lb. woman standing toe-to-toe fighting with some muscle neck guy.

Bond is brought back into the fold of MI6 while the female 007 gets even more consternation when Bond is brought in for a meeting and she is left out. Every chance she gets, she wants to put down Bond. But somehow, Bond is still respectful to this woman and yet she doesn’t deserve it. With Bond back in the fold, Blofeld needs to be questioned about the bioweapon. In order to do this, Bond’s former lover, Madeleine, must be involved. She, on the other hand, has a secret, she’s being coerced into using Blofeld’s own weapon against him. There is this awkwardness to the reunion. Bond extends his hand but she refuses to shake it as she is coated with the bioweapon. During the meeting, Bond brushes up against Madeleine and now he is a bioweapon carrier. Madeleine avoids meeting Blofeld as she leaves the facility following an intense conversation with Bond. . Blofeld meets with Bond where he antagonizes Bond to the point where he lunges at Blofeld and chokes him. Bond backs off but the damage has been done as Blofeld is dead seconds later much to the confusion of Bond.

So now it’s time for the former lovers to reconnect. Bond travels to her home where they talk. During the course of this gathering, a little girl comes out and we already know it’s Bond’s daughter but Madeleine puts up roadblocks by saying the child is not his daughter several times. Somehow though, you get the sense that Bond wasn’t subscribing to it. After spending the night and making breakfast for his newfound daughter, Bond gets a call from MI6. The female 007 is on her way to the bad guy, Safin. Bond looks at her trajectory and it’s where he is. He then realizes that Safin is after Madeleine.

A car chase ensues in a decent fashion, two of the bad guys’ vehicles are taking out but there are more popping up in the chase. Suffice it to say, Madeleine and her daughter are captured by Safin who takes them to his island.

Here is a question, why do most Bond villains have an island? This trope has been used so many times in Bond films that it seems like it’s a requirement. ReMax is having a sale on three small self-contained islands. If you are a supervillain in need of a spacious island that includes a state of the art landing strip, a secret underground lab, five bunkers to house your minions, your personal submarine base, a satellite array, eight gun turrets, seven restrooms, and two drinking fountains, we have the island for you. Cash is king. And if you act now, we’ll throw in two alligator moats at no charge, Se Habla Español.

Bond and female 007 makes it to Safin’s island. You get the prerequisite shootout. You get the prerequisite lab getting blown up. You get the prerequisite of killing off the bad scientist/doctor. You get the prerequisite rescue of the damsel and daughter. As they are escaping, the location of the island is radioed in and a warship is set to bomb the place. Bond goes back to open up the blast doors.

More shootout of bad guys as he gets to the control room and opens up the blast doors. While retreating back to his newfound family, Safin pops back up as a hackneyed trope is known to do in Bond films. Bad guys always pop back up for a final fight it’s a given. Bond has also been shot three times but I guess that’s okay as Bond has been shot before so I assume that Safin ran out of bullets? He really didn’t want to kill him just piss him off?

Bond prevails over Safin and Bond shoots him in the face but not before Safin infects Bond with the bioweapon that makes Bond lethal to the touch to his own daughter. By the way, the blast doors have closed again and Bond has to go back and reopen them. This adds time to his quest as the missiles grow closer. He reopens the doors and radios his team. He lets them know that he doesn’t have time to escape. Bond makes it outside as the missiles fall on the island blowing it up and killing Bond in the process.

His colleagues toast his farewell while Madeleine speaks about who her father was in the oddest way by speaking about Bond in a formal way. That was bizarre. She could have just said that the man that rescued us was your father. His name was James Bond and then you roll credits.

And just like Avengers: Endgame, they killed off another male icon. RIP James Bond