The Day The Star Wars Died

The Quest for a New Hope is Fading

There once was something magical and special that resonated exponentially to many fans from all corners of the globe. Spawned from the imagination and influences from Akira Kurosawa, George Lucas created this epic saga of a world, a galaxy of characters including three good guys and one bad guy and two who would influence multiple generations. Star Wars, debuting in a pre-technology, pre-Internet age in May of 1977, was done on a mere $11,000,000 budget, a seemingly respectable amount that earned it a worldwide accumulative total of $775,512,064. And so it began, a franchise was born.

Two more films followed Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back and The Return of The Jedi, excellent films that became the benchmark and canon for all of the geeks in the universal fandom. These films were huge and it changed the financial models to the movie industry. It made superstars out of the main characters. The merchandising of toys became part of the equation. The sci-fi fantasy inspired scientist to make some elements of Star Wars science reality. The fandom wanted more Star Wars and they were bestowed with a second trilogy, prequels to the original that gave us the origin story to Darth Vader. But then came the inevitable. The first trilogy gave the fandom the false sense of security that George Lucas could do no wrong. The second trilogy in the Star Wars series gave us an off-putting Anakin Skywalker and Jar Jar Binks. Jar Jar grew to legendary proportions in becoming an icon of what not to do with Star Wars characters. The second trilogy did not have Luke, Han or Leia Organa in it. That sense of purpose just wasn’t there. But just when you think things couldn’t have got anymore stranger, Star Wars was bought out by Disney.

The Disney purchase was seen by some as a feather in the cap for Disney but for others, this was not as good as one would think. Star Wars would now have that Disney-esque seasoning to it. What that would be was nobody’s guess. We would see Disney’s take on Star Wars when it was announced that the Force Awakens would be in theaters in December of 2015. We would soon be introduced to new characters while our principal leads would take a decidedly backseat to the fresh-faced newbies. There was no Luke Skywalker until the last scene of the movie. Han was killed off and Leia was regulated to babysitting the troops. She wasn’t proactive like she was in the past. This wasn’t sitting well with the fandom. Compounding this chain of the foolish meandering decision was the fact that the story arc was nothing more than copious elements from Episode IV: A New Hope. I don’t know if you could call it copyright infringement as it’s in the same family. Be that as it may, the rumblings had begun. The fandom was becoming mobilized.

Groups had begun to coalesce around the canons of all that is Star Wars. They went through the Force Awakens dissecting it down to its DNA. Why did they allow the Rey character to surpass Luke’s evolution with the force? She wasn’t even a novice with the force and yet she manipulates a stormtrooper with her Jedi mind trickery, she handles a lightsaber with ease, she defeats Kylo Ren in the mind game challenge and she defeats him in a lightsaber duel. She had become known in geek parlance as a ‘Mary Sue’. Where was her training? She knows how to make repairs to the Millennium Falcon, she even knows how to fly it on the same level as Han. Luke used the force to help him fly the X-wing in his destruction of the Death Star. Rey uses no such entity in her escape from the TIE fighters. In her first-ever flight in any type of airship, she flew like a seasoned pro.

This would not be the only wrinkle with the fandom as identity politics soon began to creep into the Star Wars lore. The Last Jedi entered the canons that sealed the fate of Star Wars fandom. It was perhaps the most divisive Star Wars ever to be released under the Disney banner. Now there had been pushback from The Force Awakens as the director, J.J. Abrams, did not mince words on where he placed blame on the negative reaction to the film. It was the trolls, those negative naysayers bent on causing mayhem and destruction in the Star Wars universe. Abrams could not accept the fact that there was legitimate criticism of his product. Rian Johnson, the director to The Last Jedi, found himself in that same camp and his response to the criticism was ten times as worse than Abrams. He weaponized social media to the fullest extent where he took no prisoners much like a Death Star obliterating the planets. He attacked the core audience, those fans who unflinchingly supported his mess of a film. The Mary Sue known as Rey meets Luke on a planet where he abruptly tosses away his lightsaber. What the hell? Rey gets no training other than doing some perfunctory light saber parrying with herself. We eventually get a scene that’s straight from Return of the Jedi where this time it’s Rey in a cave mind tripping over herself instead of Luke. In the end though, Luke fights Kylo but he’s an apparition and Rey saves Leia and the bunch because Rey now has the ability to move boulders even though she still wasn’t trained to do such a thing. Luke’s battle with Kylo comes to an end when Luke decides to give up the ghost and decides life is too much and he dies. Seriously, this is what you’re giving us?


Now Episode IX will be here in December. There were reported leaks to the script and from what was gleaned, this isn’t Star Wars you’re looking for. Rey has a dual head lightsaber that looks like an oversized nutcracker plus they once again dipped back into a Star Wars episode and picked this scenario from an old vine. This is a dream sequence of dark Rey. Luke is a force ghost and on and on.

The release of plot points to Episode IX is just more to heap on Disney as the once hyped Star Wars theme park has not lived up to their expectations. Galaxy Edge, the over-hyped, overpriced theme park is not drawing the massive crowds the planners had originally expected. Now come reports that someone in the Disney camp has started downplaying the projected financial forecast to Episode IX. Disney had been humble bragging about the billion-dollar film stable it had run-up this year. The Star Wars franchise, save for Solo: A Star Wars Story, had made over a billion dollars. This may not be the case this time out. There are the chickens that have come home to roost with Star Wars. Comments that were made against the fan base from J.J. Abrams and Rian Johnson is still fresh in their minds. Identity politics with Star Wars is another strike against it. There is the Rose Tico conundrum that’s orbiting the franchise. Finn is a character that had promise but now is a lost opportunity as they never worked on him and Rey getting closer. Instead, identity politics had been pairing him and Poe Dameron that wasn’t on anybody’s radar.

There is a sense that the actors portraying these characters have no vested interest in these characters and only see a paycheck. Mark Hamill saw his character becoming as he calls it, Jake Skywalker because this surely wasn’t Luke anymore. His discontent went unaddressed. The Last Jedi was a punch to the gut for many die-hard fans. How could Rian Johnson do this to Luke, to the fans? If you are taking the pulse from the potential audience, you have no feelings towards this film, Episode IX, as a carved out appointment in December. There has been growing discontent with Disney’s tent-pole movies more so in this year. Avenger’s Endgame was signaling that the carnival ride was over. Anything that comes out afterward won’t be making those billion dollars coffers. Captain Marvel was shoehorned in between two blockbusters plus the rumors that Disney propped up the movie financially to make that billion-dollar club. Brie Larson didn’t help the film any by creating controversy prior to the release and subsequent press interviews that weren’t so stellar, Thank You VEERRRYY Much! This adds to the list of the pile on for Disney as it endures headaches because the fans have very lasting long memories as witnessed in a series of YouTube videos from content creators like That Star Wars Girl, Geeks and Gamers, MechaRandom42, Nerdrotic, Mindless Entertainment, and on and on. Their voices have exploded over the years with hundreds of thousands of followers who have spent hours upon hours listening to them effectively critique the lore of Star Wars. In many cases, they know more about Star Wars than do some of the directors.

For some of us, we have grown up with this Star Wars saga. We’ve ridden that emotional roller coaster with Luke and his astonishing look on his face with Darth Vader revealed that he was Luke’s father. We were surprised that Leia was Luke’s sister. The love story between Han and Leia was epic and worthy of the road getting there. It’s too bad that they wrote their son as some defect and their union was no more. Was it really necessary to do this considering the journey these two have been through? This was part of the problem with marginal writing and no sense of direction. Let’s just separate the two and make them less dynamic. Together they were unstoppable. Han is dead, Luke is dead and Leia is really dead but her image will be pimped for Episode IX.

Star Wars was a majestic slow-moving glacier until it met the climate changing Disney. The ice caps have been burned off on Star Wars mountain. There is nothing but barren land as the ice has fallen into the sea. The supposed upcoming trilogy to be helm by Rian Johnson is no longer being talked about as he was ordered not to talk about it any longer. I suppose all good things must eventually come to an end. Cheers, Friends, Breaking Bad, all ended with folks wanting more. Star Wars must be placed out of its misery. It has run for over 40 years but now this faithful dog must be put to sleep, no thanks to its handlers.


(To The Tune of American Pie by Don McLean)

Bye-Bye Princess Leia Goodbye

A long long time ago
In a galaxy far far away
I can still remember how
I made the Kessel Run in 12 parsecs
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could make those stormtroopers dance
And maybe they’d be happy for a while

But December made me quiver
The Fandom Menace threw me in the river
Bad news on social media
Got trashed on Wookiepedia
I can’t remember if I lied
What I said about Luke and I sighed
Somebody flush the toilet inside
The day the Star Wars died

So Bye, bye Princess Leia Goodbye
Flew the Falcon in 12 parsecs till the engines ran dry
And the wookies and droids were drinking Tauntaun ale
Singin’ this was the day Star Wars died
This is the day Star Wars died

Did you fly the Kessel Run
Did you fire that Death Star gun
If Darth Vader tells you so?
Do you believe C3-PO?
Can R2 Save the Ewoks soul?
 Can you teach them how to chant really slow?

Well, I know you said, I love you, to him
 And he responded, I know, with a grin
 You both were each other's muse
 And in the end, we suffered to lose

I was a space pirate traveling buck
 With a hairy fella who brought me luck
 But pirate life it really sucks
 The day that Star Wars died
 I started singin’

Bye, bye Princess Leia Goodbye
 Flew the Falcon in 12 parsecs till the engines ran dry
 And the wookies and droids were drinking Tauntaun ale
 Singin’ this was the day Star Wars died
 This was the day Star Wars died