Aly Raisman Raised the Taboo Topic That No Guy Will Touch

There are times in our lives that we must talk to one another about a variety of things. Sometimes it's a conversation about a relationship, sometimes it's a conversation about a family matter, it can be about one to a thousand things we have to have a conversation about. Sometimes we dread hearing those four words that strike fear in your heart when the other person says, “We have to talk.” And sometimes there are conversations that can only be discussed among women that only can be talked about because you are women.

U.S. Olympic Gold Medalist, Aly Raisman, did such that recently when she raised the topic about her period and added a term I never heard of, free flowing and free bleeding. Now I am a hetero guy and I must admit that I am vagina-centric and I am a lover of the vagina. I will caress it, kiss it, talk to it, explore it, examine it like most hetero guys would normally do to a vagina. So when Aly Raisman wanted to talk about free flowing/bleeding, my ears wanted to shut down. This is a foreign language now. A lot of guys don't want to hear about your period. Sure, they will listen to you talk about it but , for real, deep down inside the guy is praying for temporary deafness. It's just not a topic we are comfortable in hearing. It's not you, it's your period, that thing that has no control and bleeds for so many days. We have nothing to compare it to. We know it comes once a month and it bleeds for x-amount of days. We both have hearts, lungs, eyes, teeth, a pair of arms and legs but this one singular item is just baffling to us. We know you spend a small fortune on tampons, pads, sprays that make your vagina smell pretty but you can't deduct that from your taxes every years. There should be a vagina exemption on tax forms, something that has been approached before in other areas.

There are a myriad of commercials floating across the airwaves dealing with the vagina. I keep my TV remote close at hand because whenever these commercials come on, I hit the mute button. Over the course of time, I've caught the beginning of commercials that discussed women having to wear adult diaper type garmets to control leaking from bladder issues. There are the usual tampon commercials but now women are having meetings sitting around in a circle discussing their tampons. There was even on commercial that ran that discussed women having dry vaginas and there was some new medication for that. Well, I guess it replaces restless leg syndrome as the new affliction of the moment? I even imagined a scenario where Archie Bunker was dealing with Edith Bunker as she yelled at him from the second floor about this, “ARCHIE! My vagina is dry! “Oh, geez Edith, why are you telling me this?”, said an uncomfortable Archie. “Because we are out of the KY-Gel. We need some KY-Gel, Archie!” said Edith. By the way, there is a commercial for KY-Gel with a couple in bed talking about it and I don't want to hear about that because now you make me imagine them having sex and I won't let my imagination be corrupted by that visualization. I don't want to hear about your yeast infections, your discharges, your bloating or cramping. Tampon commercials show women riding horses, playing tennis, running along the beach in all white but I never hear anything about toxic shock syndrome as a disclaimer to the product.

And it's not just the vagina commercials that I don't want to hear about, it's the penis commercials as well. I don't want to hear about your jock itch, I don't want to hear from those blue pill prostitutes discussing curling up in bed with your man who has an erectile wang dysfunction. I don't believe that any guy wants to hear from a woman discussing his dysfunctional wang. It would be humiliating. “Honey, can we talk about a remedy to your broke dick problem?”, said she. “No. no, nooooo,” said the crying husband. I don't want to see the bathtub people looking at each other either because I don't want to imagine them having sex because it goes back to my imagination and they are not porn worthy. I don't see why there is a need for them to advertise these erectile pills since anything dealing with the penis that will make it concrete hard will spread like wildfire and people will want it more. You have to give the impression that this product is hard to get which makes people want it more. Does anyone remember the so called drug, “Spanish Fly”? I don't know if it was real or not but it was the supposed wonder drug that made you horny. It still carries a bit of mystery about it because in some places it is banned which makes it enticing.

I even don't want to see those cartoon bears hawking toilet paper because if a bear goes in the woods and take a dump, he would destroy that two-ply toilet paper if he were to wipe. I think they should have a real person sitting on the toilet trying to hawk toilet paper instead of the cartoon bears. Or better yet, have a person demonstrate the strength of the TP with another brand by wiping a wet block of chocolate squares and then hold it up to the camera. Show one TP intact and the other not so intact with the finger torn through to the chocolate. A little humor will go a long way.

I know that for many years when it came to women and the issues surrounding their vaginas, it was always described as “female problems”. That was such a vague blanket statement that could have meant she was having problems coordinating a blouse with a skirt and shoes. I realize that we've come a long way from those dark ages and women need to discuss these things among each other because it can become an important health issue. And at the same time, to be honest and frank, there are a lot of guys who just want to steer clear of the topic as long as they can. Sure, we'll go out and buy you your tampons and a pint of Hagen-Daz because we are trying to be supportive but please understand, anything beyond that point will be a challenge.

I do know that certain couples do have sex when a woman is on her period and if you are horny enough, a warm towel afterwards would be nice. Of course your sheets would look like Ted Bundy payed you a visit and that's the price that you pay. I'm neutral to the concept of disseminating so much information about the vagina in various health related forums but sometimes the timing of when the commercials air can be a bit treacherous when I hear one talking about discharges and yeast infections just when I am about to eat a spoonful of cottage cheese. Never mind.