Eulogy For A Princess...

We all have experienced a loss. An emptiness that feels as large as the Grand Canyon and as deep as the mightiest water fall. It ravishes our guts and has a unique pain to it. You begin to feel this thick curtain of grief that begins to suffocate you but somehow, you endure the momentary pain but the loss is significant. We have come to honor a person who filled up life in her own uniquely fashionable way. Never one to follow the path of least resistance, her destiny was to take the road filled with potholes, cracks and an assortment of road hazards that somehow she was able to traverse and learned a lesson from that extraordinary journey. She was a daughter first. Of all the things she had accomplished within the short span of her life, she was always a daughter first, the first born. Being the daughter to Debbie Reynolds and Eddie Fisher had its inherit challenges and as a young child, she bore these challenges by accepting them as merit badges to surviving. And survive she did. Watching her parents go through a period of a tumultuous conscious uncoupling, it was not such an easy burden on a child. But as you know, life isn't fare or equal. Sometimes houses of glass and cards do shatter and fall, it just takes a lot more effort to rebuild them.

But Carrie Fisher pressed forward because she had no other recourse. She wasn't going to be some fragile wallflower trying to pick up the pieces of her yesterday life. She had this wonderful mother who showed her that she could stand up and fight for yourself when nobody else would. She may not have known it then because when you're young your world view is limited to nursery rhymes of puppy dog tails. And it was that spirit that the public witness as she took on the iconic role of Princess Leia. She would not be that damsel in distress tied down to a railroad track or menaced by the big bad while she screamed at the top of her lungs. That's not what she brought to that character. It was a seminal moment in film history, a woman playing a part on the same equal footings as a man and nobody blinked. She would not accept a secondary position next to her male contemporaries. She was fearless when fearless wasn't popular. She became this role model when when women role models were in short supply. She didn't hit you over the head with preachy sermons about being in a film with a strong female role. She didn't have to, instead she led by design. She wasn't that woman with the girl next door appeal. She was that woman next door that would tell you that you are fucking up because you're a doormat if you don't stand up for what you believe, you're still going to be that doormat so you might as well stamp the word “Welcome” across your forehead.

Carrie Fisher wasn't an “in your face” type of a woman. No, she was more of a speak to the truth type of person. She was unflinching in describing her bipolar disorder and the impact it had on her and her mother. Mental illness diseases aren't talked about in many circles. There is a level of discomfort, shame, finger pointing and a host of other negative connotations surrounding mental disorders. It's not like you have a broken arm and it will be healed after a couple of months. It is an illness that you battle everyday and with medication. If someone has diabetes, for example, we would readily accept that the person would have to be on insulin in order to have some sort of sustaining life. With mental illness, it still struggles to be on a socially acceptable level and understanding in relation to other illnesses. Carrie broke through on these challenges. She talked openly about the disease. She made the illness into something human and not some boogeyman monster that could not be spoken. Her words became the ammunition needed to take down this demon. We have talked more about mental illness. It is not the big scary that's only spoken in whispers any longer. We have Carrie to thank for that.

At the time, I don't know if Carrie knew of the impact she had on so many little girls when she made Star Wars. Ah, if only social media was around then. She had come to appreciate the accept her role in fostering this ideal of women's contribution to not just working equally along side men but to honor the humanity in all of us. And it is one of the things that we shall miss the most about Carrie. We will miss a little part from column A and we will miss a little part from column B and we will miss a little part from column C because she gave us something from each area. Carrie herself would probably be amused and in disbelief that she was taken out by a heart attack. She probably would say “Are you shitting me! A heart attack? I thought sure I was gonna go by way of a sex act on a trampoline involving two midgets and a dancing Wookie in a G-string. Heart attacks are for white male Republicans and guys at Fox News.”

And now Carrie has reluctantly move on to the next chapter. She still had more to do on this earth but her presence was requested elsewhere. She left behind too many craters to fill and too many hearts that were broken. It will be difficult not seeing your face around anymore. Memories and love only last seventy-five years in humans if we're lucky. But there is your body of work that will help us remember you and we will smile and we will cry because you meant more to us than you could have possibly know. Goodbye my Princess, goodbye my General, goodbye my friend.

...And to Her Queen

Debbie Reynolds didn't start off a Debbie Reynolds. She was known as Mary Frances Reynolds from El Paso, Texas. Her life became the life of scripted movie specifically written for her. She was from severe poor humble origins when, after winning a local beauty contest, she was discovered by talent agents from Warner Bros. Studios. Hers was a true rags to riches story and no one deserved it more than Mary Frances Reynolds or as what she became to be known as Debbie Reynolds. And soon enough, she was starring along side the likes of Gene Kelly and Donald O'Connor in her first film, Singin' In The Rain. She was groomed in a era where the studio controlled everything about the stars in their stable. No move was made without a publicist knowing about it. Singin' In The Rain became known for its classic sound and for its music and it solidified Debbie Reynolds with moviegoers as this ingenue who's appeal and looks made them feel warm and she had a trusting face that would be taken advantage of as she soon found out. Along the way, she met and married her first husband, Eddie Fisher. Their union brought forth Carrie and her brother, Todd. She would go on to divorce Eddie because he had other “interest”elsewhere.

She would go on to marry two more time with disastrous results that nearly led to financial ruin. But Debbie persevered. She picked herself, she didn't feel sorry for herself, she faced her failures and laughed about them. She won the battle and she won the war. She became a savvy business woman and made the rules up as she went along. Her memories from her past and how she grew up would not be repeated with literally not having a pot to piss in. That fear was deafening and she had two mouths to feed. She knew what she had to do.

Along her film career, Debbie had the foresight to collect many of the wardrobes and accoutrements to some extraordinary films. She amassed this collection and held on to them. She had warehouses filled with Hollywood stars clothing. There was Marilyn Monroe's dress from The Seven Year Itch. There was Frank Sinatra and the gangs tuxedos from the Ocean 11 film. There was Dorothy's ruby slippers from The Wizard of Oz. That was just a small sample of the many things she had the foresight to hold on to and they sold big. The ruby slippers sold for $690,000 alone and the Marilyn Monroe dress sold for $5.58 million. That was more than enough for Debbie to recoup her initial investment into collecting Hollywood memorabilia.

She had traveled far since those humble days in El Paso, Texas. She never knew how to dance until they taught her. She never knew how to sing until they taught her. She never understood heartache until Eddie taught her. She never knew how to run a business until she taught herself. She never knew how tough grief felt until Carrie taught her. She always understood unconditional love was the most important thing to have a fulfill life and that she had. So long Mary Frances.